I can die now that you have fed me

Blue cloudless skies beamed through the open windows. She cursed at them. He heard her and gently squeezed her hand. She gasped for air. He squeezed her hand again, this time tighter, and with desperation. They couldn’t wait for such weather in the past, they would laze on their backs and stare at blue skies, the warm sun cuddled them even more. Their daughter seemed to take equal delight, she was well behaved and never kicked her during those long hours of mindless gazing. She cautiously rubbed her belly, the tears threatened to march and she sighed, it deafened her. He heard it too, and his eyes turned misty, his breath begged for more space.
His favourite chicken biriyani, with the mint sambol, the fully cooked egg and egg plant moju idled on the plate. She had cooked it the night before, it was therapy, she couldn’t sleep. She couldn’t remember the last time she slept. She begged him with her eyes. He released a smile after an agonising struggle and slowly mixed the rice with his fingers, he kept mixing. She bit back her tears and her need to sigh with a deep breath. She quickly mixed the rice with a piece of sambol, egg and the egg plant and fed him a small mouthful. He choked on it and she gave him a sip of water straight from the half full jar, and gently stroked his back to ease the constriction. She witnessed every twitch and spasm along the tired contours of his face, with unwanted clarity. And she knew her memory would play it back until she was no more. He ate hungrily, it was difficult for her to keep up. Then he devoured the curd and treacle dessert, they were both his favourites. Only when she cooked them.
It looked like he wanted more, she cursed herself for not cooking more. Their dams broke in perfect accord. She rocked him, violently pressing his head against her chest, their tears drenched each other. She wished he would let go, and she wished he never would.
The guard’s eyes had a glimmer of compassion as he motioned her towards the cell door. He got up suddenly, squeezed her hand again and ran inside without looking.
“DON’T GO, PLEASE!!”
She screamed. Her words curled up in to a stubborn knot and refused to leave her lips. He was gone.
“FIRE.”
The discordant sound of the volley stabbed her soul and she sank in to the dust, her heart exploding in her ears. The birds took to the air with fearful squawking. The dogs went in to a barking frenzy. Then it was all quiet. She desperately sought the sound of his ragged breathing through the brick wall. But the silence stabbed her more. Her daughter kicked her womb, it hurt.